trust...working on it...

do you trust people?

im struggling right now to trust people, even my friends and family. like really. i mean the moment that you trust someone they just walk all over you. even if they promise that they would never hurt you or even if they aren't hurting you on purpose something will go down and make you crazy. its really annoying kind of. like i want to trust people...i dont want to become one of those closed off, guarded, emo kids but ya know what! that might be exactly what ive become!

and i realize that forgiveness is something that i should give freely just as Jesus forgave those that killed him and just as he forgives me for my daily sin. BUT its really hard for me. i feel that forgiveness sometimes breeds a culture of like, yea you can screw me over cause i will always be there will a second chance. screw chances dude! why can't people just stay on chance one and do the right thing! i know i know i mess up too...a lot! i admit im working on being a better friend so im like a walking contradiction right now im just a little annoyed of being the bigger person.

so pray for me! that i learn to be more forgiving...like i want to be as forgiving as Jesus is! and i know i will never ever be that but its a good goal.

also pray for good sleep and health...im exhausted and fever-y!